Written sometime in October 2001, reworked in the Fall of 2006, used in a performance in 2009 and found again on January 14, 2021.
I have just given birth to my son and my body has been transformed forever. I am now a mother. I am responsible for another human being twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week and for the rest of my life. I am terrified that I will never be alone again. My concept of time has been completely shattered. Severely damaged, it has now become elastic. Before this body, one hour was never long enough to start anything important and it was discarded without a second thought. Now, in this other body, one minute is a pond, five minutes a lake, fifteen minutes to myself has become an ocean and not a single drop is left to evaporate on the floor. My body has also kept its elasticity well after childbirth. My son is constantly pushing the limits of my body from the inside out. He doesn’t even have to be close to me for this to occur. It is a permanent state, maternity for eternity. This is a wonderful, magical place to be in but it is also part of the problem. The mother inhabits a giving, unselfish body, a body in direct conflict with the selfish one of the artist. I know I have to pull at this experience until I am able to use it in my artwork otherwise motherhood will swallow everything, leaving crumbs for the artist.
Probablement écrit en octobre 2001, retravaillé à l’automne 2006, utilisé lors d’une performance en 2009 et retrouvé le 14 janvier 2021.